Twenty Something New Years Resolutions

It is the new year, and you know what that means….It’s time to write my new year’s waitress resolutions. I have come up with the following, which I sincerely hope I will keep this coming year.

1. I will use the arcade token I received as a tip and play one round of ski ball.

2. I will not judge any customer who puts hot sauce on their oatmeal. (Yes, there is more than one.)

3. I will be sincerely grateful for all the creative customers who cross my path, including the customer who insisted he tip me in a mathematical symbol. ($13.00 plus Pi = $16.14)

4. I will not take someone’s dessert order, then only remember to bring it to them once 20 minutes have passed and they are staring at me like an angry vulture ready to attack.

5. I will tell the customers the soup of the day with a straight face, even when it  includes lima beans, brussel sprouts, or any other morally opposable vegetable.

6. I will always give a child one of my pens to draw or write with if I can’t find any crayons, and if I have time, ask them to draw me a picture. 

7. I will be the best twentysomethingwaitress I can be, even if I feel like this inside:

Happy New Year!!

Sincerely, TwentySomethingWaitress



  1. Hello!

    I’m so glad I found your hilarious website. Never thought that working as a waitress in a restaurant can provide so much fodder for your writing. That’s why I’m giving you the Versatile Blogger Award. You can print off the logo and put it on a button and tell customers to F*** off, I’m a versatile blogger now, if they give you any crap.

    Congrats and thanks for your blog.


  2. Love that you will play one game of ski-ball with your token. What should I do with the bullet casing that I was left while waitressing at Arlene’s general store and cafe in Oregon in 1979. Shoot some one? Was a tip left on Sunday AM by several breakfast pitcher of beer drinking (tree farmers off at 6AM- who I knew) to go with their logger burgers. Just because you know someone is NOT a reason to leave a shit tip. Right?

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