Will the Real Waitress please stand up?

2012 is here! But four days a week, I leave the 21st century for a bit, step into a world fashioned from another era and play the part of a 50’s waitress. It is a world complete with juke boxes, bar stools and classic American diner food. I wear a mini skirt. I refill 1,000 cups of coffee. But there is a skull and cross bones on my t-shirt, and sometimes I make up rap songs on the spot about french fries and apple pie to pass the time. The modern influences are clearly everywhere, (my future rap stardom included), but in some ways, not much has changed. Continue reading

Dear Too Much Information

Dear Too Much Information,

I feel like we might have misunderstood one another the other night. I want to apologize for my speechlessness and overall disbelief when I approached the table, asked if you were ready to order, and you told me you were on your period. Maybe I wasn’t clear when I said “Would you like fries with that?” and instead gave you the impression that I wanted to know the details of your murderous menstrual cycle. I’m sorry I could not make the “18 brownie sundaes” you requested or support you more fully in your endeavors to “kill everyone who crosses your path.” I was very busy that night and had many other tables to tend to. Preparing an ungodly amount of dessert to cater to the surge of estrogen coursing through your body wasn’t my highest priority, and I apologize. Thank you for that awesome sequence of too much information, and confirming for me that yes, the people I wait on CAN get even crazier than I ever thought possible. I look forward to hearing from you again in another 28-32 days.

Sincerely,

Twenty Something Waitress